In loving memory
by Namine94
Summary: What if Jake was to late and Bella dies in the cliff diving accident... what did Edward do at first when he found out... before he went to Voltera to have Aro kill him... Songfic BxE... sorry about summery best I have... first songfic ,enjoy. bad grammer!


Nam: Wow it's 2 a.m. and I'm here just typing and listening to music and I just thought of this... tell me how you guys like it

Angel: She got her muse back... well partly

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... or the song In Loving Memory by Alter Bridge**

**SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVE NOT READ...um... Is it New Moon or Eclipse... if you haven't read either there is a spoiler in my story... just to be safe**

Summary: What if Jake was to late and Bella dies in the cliff diving accident... what did Edward do at first when he found out... before he went to Voltera to have Aro kill him... Songfic BxE BellaxEdward... sorry about summery best I have

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In Loving Memory

**_EPOV _(Edwards POV)**

"I'm so sorry Edward... she jumped off a cliff... I-I-I l-lost he-her f-fu-future..." Alice said dry sobbing near the end... she just lost her sister... while I just lost the love of my life and all she can say is 'sorry'... she must of seen the look on my face because she said, "Edward don't do anything stupid because of this."

"I won't Alice," I told her _at least not yet... I'm going to go to the medow I need to think with out the thought's going through my head._

As if on cue all his families thoughts hit him like a ton of bricks

_NO MY LITTLE SISTER MY CLUMSY LITTLE SISTER _-Emmett

_So... much... sadness... AWW NOW I'M GONNA MOPE... Bella... why... I wanted you to be my little sister... I'm so sorry for attacking you on your birthday _-Jasper

_Good now that human can't go around and tell our secrets... I guess I'll miss her a bit... she pulled the family together... everyone seemed happier _-Rosalie

_MY DAUGHTER... BELLA WHY... did we not take care of you... We never should have left... on family member leaves we all should have... I'm sorry my daughter _-Esme

_There has to some other logical meaning to her future disapearing... she's not dead... my daughter can't be done... it's not supposed to be this way _-Carlisle

_MY SISTER, BEST FRIEND, WHY, WHAT HAPPENED... BELLA YOU'RE NOT DEAD... you can't be... EDWARD GET OUT OF MY HEAD _- Alice

"I'm going to the medow you know where to look if you want to find me," I said walking out the door not waiting for anyone to respond. I ran, vampire-speed of course, to the medow where we, Bella and I, spent so much time... I can't get her off my mind... '_I shouldn't have left... I shouldn't have lied and tell her I didn't love her' _I thought to myself. _'There has to be some way I can prove I love her and never stopped loving her... I GOT IT. LOVE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME UP THERE WITH GOD I WANT YOU TO GO TO THE MEDOW PLEASE JUST MEE T ME THERE OK' _I thought running even faster to get to 'our' medow.

"Bella love if you're here even if it's only in spirit give me a sign... any type of sign will do... just give me a sign you're hear and you're listening there is something that I need you to hear this... it's dedicated to you please my love... please... give me a sign any type of sign... I just need to know you're here with me so you can hear what I have to say and do," I proclaimed my voice slightly wavering at the end which is so unlike me.

The wind blew so softly and I heard a faint sound while it passed, like a whisper, so soft my vampire hearing strained to hear it... all I heard was what sounded like 'I' or was it 'ai' meaning love. The wind blew again and I smelt the faint hint of freesia coming from where ever the wind was blowing. _'My love you're here. I love you so much I lied when I said I didn't love you it's my fault you're dead... everything is my fault if I hadn't gotten involved with you none of this would have fappened you would have a had a simple normal human life... the thing is I don't regret ever getting involved with you what I do regret is lieing you you making it so you go and do stupid things... I don't think it was your intention to get your self killed... Alice said you jumped off a cliff she saw you having problems getting up and then... n-n-no-nothing yo-your fu-future was g-go-gone... love... I'm so sorry this is taking a toll on the whole family... even Rosalie feels bad... love there's a reason I wanted you here I wanted to tell you this but I also want you to hear something... I'm sorry if you don't like it... but know we all love you and will miss you everyday... I hope to be with you soon'_

After my heartfelt speach I walk into the tree's and grabbed a guitar I kept out here for when my families thoughts got to... voulgar... for lack of better words. I sighed and got ready to tell her how much I was gonna miss her through a song... _'Here we go love I hope you're listening'_

**_Thanks for all you've done  
I've missed you for so long  
I can't believe you're gone  
You still live in me  
I feel you in the wind  
You guide me constantly_**

I took a small breath and continued

**_I've never knew what it was to be alone, no  
Cause you were always there for me  
You were always there waiting  
And ill come home and I miss your face so  
Smiling down on me  
I close my eyes to see_**

'_I wasn't alone till I left you... and now you left me... but this time... no one can come back'_

**_And I know, you're a part of me  
And it's your song that sets me free  
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on  
I sing tonight cause it comforts me_**

_'Your song is your lullaby'_

**_I carry the things that remind me of you  
In loving memory of  
The one that was so true  
Your were as kind as you could be  
And even though you're gone  
You still mean the world to me_**

_'Love you will always mean the world to me no matter where you are I'll join you soon'_

**_I've never knew what it was to be alone, no  
Cause you were always there for me  
You were always there waiting  
But now I come home and it's not the same, no  
It feels empty and alone  
I can't believe you're gone_**

_'It's so hard to believe you're gone' _at this point I wish I could cry... and somehow my wish came true... it may have been venom but I was crying but I kept my self strong and continued the song.

**_And I know, you're a part of me  
And it's your song that sets me free  
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on  
I sing tonight cause it comforts me_**

_'The only thing that can comfort me is you... Love I miss you so... please wait for me... I will join you as soon as I can... I know God... she most likely won't let me in heaven to be with you my angel... but I truely hope she will see past my mistakes and look at all the good things I've done and how much I need my angel'_

**_I'm glad he set you free from sorrow  
I'll still love you more tomorrow  
And you will be here with me still_**

**_Ooo's_**

_'My love for you still grows even when I'm not any where near you... everyday I love you more and more. You'll be with me untill I can be with you once more.'_

**_And what you did you did with feeling  
And You always found the meaning  
And you always will  
And you always will  
And you always will_**

_'You found out the meaning to my life just by coming into it... the meaning for my exsistance is you sweet Bella... you and only you... you are so preceptive and you can find the meaning of anything if you try.'_

**_And I know, you're a part of me  
And it's your song that sets me free  
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on  
I sing tonight cause it comforts me_**

As I finished the song I knew how I was going to be with my sweet angel again... I was going to go to Voltera and have them kill me... _'and if they won't I'll expose myself for what I am and they'll kill me and I'll be with my sweet Bella again and forever' _With that thought I was off knowing Alice would have had a vision as of now of me getting myself killed by them, them being the Volturi the _'_Kings' of the vampire world.

The wind went by me again as I was running, and as I ran I felt like Bella was by my side running with me trying to get me to turn back. But without my angel there was nothing to live for so I shall live no more... if you can call me alive that is... _'I shall no longer rome this earth... I will be with my love, my mother but I was leaving behing my new family... but if I stayed no one would ever be happy again... they'll get over my desicion give it a couple decade's.'_

**_THE END_**

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Nam: I'm actually quite satisfied with this considering I started at 2 A.M. and it's now 3:25 A.M.

Angel: why do I get there's a secret message in here

Nam: there is... the song to me is one of the song's that represents my grandfather... I miss him and when I first heard the song I thought of him when I heard it today I thought it would make a great songfic and here it is.

Aki: Review!!


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